Prometheus 6   

Past Student Essay Contest Winners

Suparna Paul, First Place Winner, 2000

Implications of Interracial Dating

Interracial dating, like many other issues, has an array of both positive and negative implications. We can further educate ourselves about them by taking an active interest in and learning from the experience of those who have experienced it. This will allow society members to have open minds and appreciate the initiatives of those who choose to date outside of what conventional society would recommend. Various aspects and experiences have shaped my views of interracial dating. These include my personal experiences, those of close friends, and educating myself by reading books and periodicals on the subject. As a student leader involved in various student groups on campus, including the Asian American Student Union (AASU), I have personally seen and experienced society�s reactions to interracial dating. I find it particularly interesting that when a student group, such as the AASU, holds a Community Meeting to discuss the topic of interracial dating, several individuals attend. These students voice their opinions about their beliefs that interracial dating should be more widely accepted.

However, these are the same individuals that, during the occurrence of actually seeing a member of their community dating outside of their race, disapprove of it behind the person�s back. This situation, unfortunately, is common and occurs within every ethnic group.

The events that have shaped my perspective on interracial dating include my experiences with actually having interracially dated. Though there are both positive and negative impacts of dating outside one�s own race, unfortunately and more often than not, the negative ones are more obvious. For example, I have experienced the stares from random passersby and even from friends and acquaintances. It is my belief that many of the stares are not meant to be negative; these people are simply curious of things they have not experienced. The implications of interracial dating stem far beyond simply dating. Those couples whose relationships result in marriage often find that stereotypes of being different reach to their children and to generations beyond. These young children do not realize society�s prejudices of them and it can lead to their questioning of their backgrounds. The parents of these children should make extra attempts to make them feel that they are not different, but special. They should be proud of their mixed heritage and feel more empowered being multi-ethnic and having the opportunity to gain first-hand knowledge of two or more cultures simultaneously.

It is an unfortunate circumstance for those children whose parents� interracial marriage ends in divorce. Society often makes the victims of those marriages feel that the result was partially due to the two individuals� different backgrounds. For example, I have a friend whose mother is Caucasian from the United States and father is from Spain. His parents divorced when he was young after he spent most of his childhood in Spain. His mother brought him back to the United States and under the divorce agreement, he would visit his father in Spain twice a year, during winter and summer holidays. Unfortunately, his parents had each put a stigma on the other to portray the other in a negative light. His mother would refer to his father as �those Spanish� and vice versa as "those Americans." Having come from a mixed background, he had to handle the hate of his parents overseas. However, he also had the gift of growing up in both cultures.

In addition to having different nationalities, religion also plays a large role in interracial dating. Before an interracial couple gets married, they must think about which faith they will choose to instill in their children. The most popular options include: keeping the mother�s faith, keeping the father�s faith, teaching the children a combination of the faiths, or educating the children on both/all religions and letting them choose upon maturity. However, no matter which option they choose, the couple must remember that circumstances change and they must keep open minds through the years to be flexible with their decisions. For interracial couples, it is imperative to look past the differences and find the similarities within each other.

Even more important is how the participants of interracial relationships view themselves, their partners, and their relationships as an entity. As in any relationship, each partner must have good self-esteem and a positive view of his or her partner for it to be successful. A negative self-image or low self-esteem can result in hopelessness and loss of faith. It is helpful for all couples to hold onto a firm belief and enthusiasm to make the relationship a success. Interracial dating can be a very positive experience for many people, should they choose to accept the challenge. It is very helpful to have the support network of friends of family who approve of and encourage the relationship. However, both partners should be dedicated to keeping open minds and, like all marriages, even more dedicated to make the marriage last.