Do not make the mistake of thinking that because my conclusion is the same as another person's that my reasoning is the same
via MaxSpeak
ARRAM, West Bank
The news started trickling in to my office within minutes last Tuesday. There had been a suicide bombing at a bus stop east of Tel Aviv. I could immediately feel the anxiety start to build all around me. We Palestinians have been down the same road many times, and we know what to expect. At some point -- we could not know precisely when, but we knew it would happen -- the Israeli army tanks would come roaring down the streets of our cities, wreaking havoc all around.
Colleagues came to ask me for permission to leave early, wanting to get home and make preparations. I listened to them wondering whether they had enough milk for their children, enough food, enough fuel; worrying about getting their sick family members to the hospital, about making contingency plans in case their apartments got hit or demolished. Everyone was expecting the usual siege -- the Israelis sweeping in and imposing an extended curfew, imprisoning us in our homes and firing freely at those who dared or had to move.
But as I listened, what struck me most was the mechanical nature of the reaction I was witnessing -- and feeling myself. There was little emotion in the air. There was no effort to analyze what had happened, or why. People were simply discussing logistics as though they were preparing for a snowstorm. We're so used to it, I thought to myself. The situation is mad, but we've adapted to it. A few hours later, I heard about a second bombing at a coffee shop in Jerusalem. Now we were really in for it. And yet the thought filled me not with fear or rage or despair, but simply with hopelessness.
Hopelessness is a Palestinian's daily companion now. A year, two years ago, I was angry; then the anger became frustration. But now I feel nothing. It's as though I have a broken heart. Like most, if not all, of my countrymen, I see no end to the cycle of violence, to this Israeli-Palestinian war -- and make no mistake, it is a war.
We Palestinians feel as though we will just keep watching the same movie over and over again. An Israeli "targeted assassination" of a Hamas, Islamic Jihad or Fatah leader, followed by retaliation from our side in the form of a suicide bombing, followed by the Israeli crackdown on the entire Palestinian population, followed by a targeted assassination. . . . Blood in the streets, endlessly. We're just going to keep killing each other unto eternity. And I feel many Israelis are just as puzzled over how to get out of this mess as we are.