Prometheus 6

'I got a story I really need to tell'
North Wales deputy chief constable Clive Wolfendale has been criticised for performing a rap to his force's black police association.

He gave his rendition of the rap to the inaugural meeting of the North Wales Black Police Association (NWBPA), with Rukhsana Nugent, the group's secretary.

Commission for Racial Equality chairman Trevor Phillips said: "Presumably this was an attempt to get down with their supposed culture. How wrong. How patronising. How demeaning."

But NWBPA chairman Roger Benedict said Mr Wolfendale's rap had the support of all its executive members and was a way of delivering a "strong positive message".

I'm just a white boy called the Deputy CC
They said I'd never make it as a bitchin' MC
You got it all wrong, cos now here I am
Giving it for real in the North Wales BPA jam

They call me Roxy, or Ms Dynamo on stage
Unlike my brother here, I never look my age
I'm goin' to spill it all about the boys in blue
Show you what it's like within the not-so-solid crew

So listen! Watch a doin' here today
Checkin' what the Heddlu Gogledd Cymru gotta say
Put away your cameras and your note pads for a spell
I got a story that I really need to tell

Bein' in the dibble is no cakewalk when you're black
If you don't get fitted, then you'll prob'ly get the sack
You're better chillin', lie down and just be passive
No place for us just yet in the Colwyn Bay Massive

The Beeb Man stuffed us with the Secret Policeman
It's no good moanin' cos' he found the Ku Klux Klan
Job ain't what it used to be; it's full of blacks and gays
It was just us white homies in the really good ole' days

So what we bothrin' with this stinkin' institution
No love, no heart, no sense, no proper constitution
No-one loves the coppers cos' we're rotten to the core
Cross between the devil and a governmental whore

What is the purpose of a black association?
It's just another stupid race relations job creation
We got our meetings and our various sub-committees
Packed with some do-gooders and a lot more Walter Mittys

Forget all of that bulls**t an' I'll tell u why we're here
Things are sometimes better than they usually appear
The New World Order means the streets are gettin' hot
Trust in one another is really all we got

The BPA is sayin' that we're all in the same boat
Black or white in blue, we're all wearin' the same coat
If this don't happen then the lot of us are screwed
Caught up in the mis'ry of the international feud

So Roger, Nick and Larbi will you give us one more chance
Danny and Silvana, I'd really like to dance
To Essi and to Imdad I want to give a hand
Let's hear it for Ms Dynamo and all her backin' band

There's no time for jam tomorrow, we need the jam today
That's why we launchin' our association in this way
Thank you all for coming and remember what we say
Support your local sheriff and the North Wales BPA.