Guys like me - introduction

Submitted by Prometheus 6 on June 5, 2004 - 8:20am.
on About me, not you

Introduction

I have a close friend who is a poet, author, and activist. She's seen essays and poems on a web site I used to run, and other, private stuff because she's special and she gets to do that. She thinks I should write. I haven't been writing more because the flow was clogged than any other reason. I've tried, and either had stuff go by too fast to write it down or dry up as I attempted to shape it into words.

Recently she told me what was especially good about essays I had written in the past. She said it was obvious that I was talking to a particular audience, had listened to them and was responding. I think there's something to that.

So I've decided to try this. I'm going to try to write about what's important…I always have (though you are highly unlikely to have ever seen my attempts). And the folks I'll be talking to are guys like me.

The target audience is important, especially when the range of inquiry is defined by so nebulously as "important stuff." This particular target audience lets me relax and write about whatever interests me because it has a strong chance of being of interest to other guys like me. But you other folks can read if you like.

Actually, I think there are a lot of guys like me. Guys who see better options than they choose. As I write, that's what I see as the main characteristic of guys like me…and to tell the truth, I don't like admitting it. I mean, it's one thing not to see the better options or to see them and not value what they offer. The problem is seeing the options, knowing their value and denying it for now.

Another thing about guys like me…most of us, anyway…making a living is a big part of our life. I purposely avoided saying "a job is a big part of our life" because some guys like me are hustlers.

Guys like me read non-fiction sometimes.

And our personal affairs at least as important to us as world and national affairs.

If you scanned a crowd looking for guys who feel they would fit that description, you'd find a lot of them. On the other hand, I'm sure I could give you a couple of my personal traits that no one else would admit to, thereby proving there are no guys like me at all. Some of them I'll likely have to explain, even to guys like me…the judgments I make are not always the common ones. Sometimes they are, but I think I need to be clear when they're not.

For instance.

I don't actively believe or disbelieve in the survival of an individual's personality after the death of the body. This means I don't consider a vast domain of concepts-as problems or solutions.

Another thing.

I see a difference between the physical planet and the worlds of meaning and experience we build on it. Mismatches between the world and our expectations of it are a major source of problems. When this happens to me, I tend to cede victory to the planet. This rarely changes my intent, but it will change my approach.

One more thing.

I agree with the work of Abraham Maslow. He says there's a series of needs that humans must satisfy pretty much in sequence:
1)Physiological: hunger, thirst, bodily comforts, etc.;
2)Safety/security: out of danger;
3)Belongingness and Love: affiliate with others, be accepted; and
4)Esteem: to achieve, be competent, gain approval and recognition.
5)Cognitive: to know, to understand, and explore;
6)Aesthetic: symmetry, order, and beauty;
7)Self-actualization: to find self-fulfillment and realize one's potential; and
8)Transcendence: to help others find self-fulfillment and realize their potential.
(More detail, if you wish, at http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/regsys/maslow.html)

Makes sense to me…I actually don't think you can work a level without having resolved the issues of the lower ones. And it makes sense that people on different levels, having different needs, will respond differently in the same situation. So when I see someone do something stupid, I try to see if there's a level on which the action makes sense.

Sometimes it works. The other times, well, maybe they're on a higher level than me and I just can't figure it out. Or maybe they're stupid.

I don't want to be overly conceptual about this. I want to consider issues and problems that are important, that actually exist. I want to be nakedly honest about it.

[Actual reason for all this noise redacted]

May, 2000