from The OnionGen Tommy Franks

by Prometheus 6
June 10, 2003 - 8:08pm.
on Old Site Archive

from The Onion

Gen Tommy Franks Quits Army to Pursue Solo Bombing Project

WASHINGTON, DC?Gen. Tommy Franks, commander of American forces in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, announced plans Monday to step down as U.S. Central Command chief to focus on solo bombing projects.

"The years I've spent with the Army have been amazing, and we did some fantastic bombing," said Franks at a Pentagon press conference. "But at this point, I feel like I've taken it as far as I can. It's time for me to move on and see what I can destroy on my own."

… Franks said he also relishes the notion of having more creative freedom.

"When you're in an army, you pretty much have to bomb the countries they tell you to bomb," Franks said. "Which is fine for a while. But eventually, you get tired of bombing the same old places again and again. The last thing I want is to be 70 years old, still bombing Iraq. It's important to keep things fresh."

posted by Prometheus 6 at 6/10/2003 08:08:08 PM |